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Deer hunter

The deer hunter you know captures his prize with a gun.

He hangs the corpse in his back yard to dry. With his alchemical powers, he turns deer flesh into something he refers to as venison. In hushed tones, “venison.”

He entices the neighborhood kids to try a sample. “Try it. You’ll like it,” he says.

Here is a list of other things he does: He displays antlers on his small living room wall. He wears camouflage as part of his regular casual attire. He spends his weekends cleaning his rifles and reading magazines with advice and advertisements for outdoorsmen. This is how you know he’s a deer hunter.

But there are other deer hunters who do not use rifles. You do not know about them for they capture their deer with nets, food, and extreme caution.

These deer are kept in the hunters’ back yard where they are cared for and frequently groomed. This hunter spends his weekends tending to their needs, singing to them and reading them poetry. Although millions of thme exist, you did not know about this type of deer hunter until just now.